Desitin and other Misadventures

My five year old’s nickname is Comet. Well, actually it is Dot Com, but we ended up calling her Dot or even more often Comet because she rockets around everywhere. I have never seen so much energy and mischief bottled into one tiny person. And boy does she have a strong will; and she’s smart too. That can be a very dangerous combination: mischief, strong will, and intelligence.

Don’t let that sweet innocent looking picture over there fool you, I’ll simply recount some of her greater antics and let them speak for themselves. When she was just over one she, with the help of her older sister, ate half a bag of ginger snaps and that was when all the trouble began. šŸ™‚

Some of her most memorable moments:

  • She was two and a half when she ate half a bottle of tums (I think she won’t have any problems with osteoporosis any time in the near future!) while supposedly going potty, our poor babysitter nearly died, but Dot was just fine šŸ™‚
  • Desitin . . .

Charming Dot was turning three and because we were celebrating her birthday with Grandma and Grandpa on a Saturday Paul and I ended up going on a date on her actual birthday, a Friday. We got home and were greeted by excited Elizabeth and Emily. I noticed that a certain daughter who had a knack for trouble was not bashing into my knees with excitement to see us home, so I asked our babysitter where she was hiding. (now don’t get the wrong idea here, our babysitter was awesome and was in no way irresponsible or accountable for Comet’s fixes) She mentioned that she was in the bathroom but had been there for a few minutes already and was about to go check on her when we had walked in. I headed up stairs (we were managing in Hillsboro and had a cute townhouse apartment at the time) and noticed that it was awfully quiet. Now, those of you with young children, know that quiet is not necessarily a good thing. I opened the door and looked around. No Dot, just a little white ghost standing by the sink! Ahhh! That was my daughter! Dot has always had a dry skin problem that we used a really thick Eucerin cream for, well apparently she was feeling dry but. . . grabbed the desitin instead, it’s all the same color anyway, right? Yikes, have you ever tried to wash desitin off of anything, especially out of hair? She had it all over her face, all through her hair, and all over the bathroom. Funny, we should have nick named her “Casper” at that point. šŸ™‚

  • The Closet . . .

This by far has to top them all off. She was four and she and her sisters had been playing in their room. Weeelll, they had taken out every toy, every dress, every article of clothing and they were all over the room, it was a monumental nightmare and mommy was MAD! So I bagged everything up and for lack of a better place I shoved it all in their closet. But how to keep the out of the closet? I had a brilliant idea and got the ratchet strap that we always used to strap things on top of the car with. I wrapped it around the doors and ratcheted that strap down as tight as I possibly could; I could barely get my index finger between the door and the strap. I was still fuming however so I left them all to stew a bit while I taught my last piano lesson for the day. Dad came home shortly after and I told him what had happened. Just then Dorothy began to cry so Paul went to check on her. A moment later I here his voice floating down the hall, “Julia need to come see this . . .” Up I got and headed into their bedroom. Because of the angle of the door all I could see as I walked in was the edge of the closet. I notice that the girls had some how loosened the strap enough to poke their baby dolls behind it so they were hanging in a row. I walked further in and there was Dorothy, strapped by the waist to the closet door, her feet approximately 2 feet off the ground! It was absolutely hilarious, I had never laughed so hard in my life. What parent doesn’t have a secret desire to see their disobedient child strapped to a closet, especially self inflicted? Of course we made sure she wasn’t hurt or anything. What she had done was cling up her bunk bed ladder, about 1 1/2 feet away, climb up it, stick her feet our behind her and hook them into the strap. Of course I had the strap so tight that she could only wiggle down to her hips/waist and then got stuck, she couldn’t move in either direction. I still laugh about it today, does that make me mean? I sure hope not, I do love her dearly. šŸ™‚

  • Syrup . . .

Okay, you probably know what is coming. She and Emmy decided to get into the syrup this last spring. I had just filled the syrup container that morning. I thought it was awfully quiet, and by now well schooled in the fact that with Dot quiet meant trouble. Not only will she have these “brilliant” ideas, she will usually con her younger sister into them as well. The catch was this: I was overdue with Jacob by a weak and a half, so I am past 9 months pregnant. I went walking into the kitchen ( where I finally found them) and there they were. The syrup was gone. I estimate they ate half, had a quarter of it on them, and the other quarter? All over the floor. I mopped twice, but left the scrubbing (it was still very sticky) to hubby when he got home, there was no way I was getting on my knees being that pregnant!! He tried to defend them by saying they were curious about the texture, etc. I simply looked at him and said, “They had a spoon.”

  • Pam . . . this one was just recent. She somehow got a hold of the Pam and then convinced Emmy that she should spray it . . . into her face! Luckily Emily was fine.
  • We’ve had diaper painting (ewww, icky, and yuck to cleaning that up), bunk bed jumping, “cleaning” with whatever she can find (at least she’s trying to help?), spilling red gatorade all over my mom’s carpet (rule is no drinks out of the kitchen), having a hayday in my make up drawer, and “weeding” my Dad’s iris, just to name a few. Have you seen the Cheaper By The Dozen movie with Steve Martin? The little brown haired girl that soaked the underwear in the meat? That would be Dorothy. šŸ™‚

I hate to give the impression that she is all trouble, she is also the one that has the sweetest nature and is very loving and says the most incredible things. She’s the one that opened her prayer by saying, “Dear Heavenly Daddy”, and if that isn’t adorable I don’t know what is. Once at a parade when some Native Americans were passing by she excitedly grabbed my arm and asked, “Mom! Are those Nephites?” I busted a gut it was soooo cute. I love my little Comet who rockets through life and with out her life is boring. But boy, does she give me a run for my money!!!

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3 Comments

Filed under Children, Dot, Goofs, Humor, Parenting

3 responses to “Desitin and other Misadventures

  1. I got into the diaper cream once as a child. I painted my brother’s face. I love my brother not only for who he is, but because he was also so good, even when I wasn’t.

    Don’t worry, children that get into diaper cream can still turn out alright — look at me.

    Oh, sorry, I meant that to be encouraging. Oops.

  2. I’m sure I will be able to compare stories with you. My almost three year old son is heading down the exact same road as you. You should read the post I wrote a couple of months ago entitled “Eye of the Beholder”. It will seriously have you busting a gut!

  3. wow, you’re daughter looks SOOOO much like what my sister looked like at that age!!

    And if they’re anything similar, she’ll keep giving you a run for your money well into adulthood hahaha

    Great stories!

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