Weekly Anamnesis #29

It looked like a science experiment gone wrong, or the latest goo technology of the 80s. I eyed the bowl warily as I saw long flat green things swimming sinisterly beneath the murky surface. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. In horror I watched my mother dip in a spoon and fish out some of the green stuff. A pale greenish slime drip from the spoon, there was practically enough elasticity that I thought it was going to bounce right up again before the line grew thinner and separated. With a resonating “schlop” she plopped it on my plate, a sound similar to a suction cup slowly being peeled from a window.

“I have to eat that!” I gasped as my nose caught an odor equal to dog vomit. My brothers were eyeing the mess with as much timidity as I, but my sisters didn’t seem the least bit phased. “They had probably helped make it,” I reasoned in my head.

My Mother’s glower was enough to answer my question. I knew the rule; once on the plate it had to be devoured in order for us to make our exodus from the table. I poked my forked at the pile of sludge on my plate and a chorus of “let my people gooooo” rambled through my brain as I leaned in my seat, gazing with yearning through the door where freedom lay. There would be no hope of Salvation for me as I eyed my Promised Land beyond the kitchen table.

“It looks like mucus,” my brother whispered in my ear sending us into a fit of giggles.

“Mom, what is this stuff anyway? Are you sure it’s actually edible?” I was expecting it to walk of my plate any minute as I waited for her answer.

“It’s called okra; it’s very good, and very edible.” (Let me insert a disclaimer that I have heard that fried okra is quite good, but I can testify that boiled okra is of the devil himself, heh)

“No guts no glory,” I mumbled under my breath. I speared one of the long green things with my fork and deftly clamped down on my nose with my left hand. I tipped my head back and held the dripping okra up over my plate. I cranked open the hatch and let the slimy thing fall. Trying my best not to gag, I felt it slip right down my throat, no swallowing or chewing involved. Disgusting and slimy, but at least I didn’t have to chew it!


Filed under Anamnesis, Farm Stories, Humor, Writing

9 responses to “Slip

  1. Hillarious! I could so easily envision the whole story playing out:). You seem like one of those children who always had a glimmer in her eye. Thinking, always thinking. I’m sure you kept your parents hoping!

  2. Deb

    You’re so funny! I have to admit it, boiled okra and I are not the best of friends; fried though, yummy.

  3. i really thought this was going the way of green jello, and i almost had to run and hide before the end. but okra… is almost as bad as jello.

    its slimy. and has… like hair kinda. what’s up with that? GAH!

  4. Oh, I’ve never even seen boiled okra, let alone eaten it. Should I be glad?

  5. Be very, very glad. I would personally equal it to swallowing a slug, but as I have never eaten a slug (that I recall anyway) it is pure speculation. 🙂

  6. When I read that this week’s assignment was slip I thought, ‘I can’t wait to read Julia’s.’

    I’ll be honest, this is not the story I had in mind. You took me by surprise, and it was a fun ride.

  7. That’s exactly how I feel when I’ve been forced to try shrimp. I swallow the suckers whole and wash ’em down quickly then take a bit of something else before the taste settles in!

  8. My husband had to eat his fiar share of that gross stuff on his mission. I have tried it fried but I was not impressed.

  9. I heard about okra a lot in Alabama, but I never tried it, nor do I plan to *gag* hahaha

    I thought it was going to be a green jello story too! 🙂

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