Blame it on the Soy Sauce … or … Soy Sauce is Evil

The second and fourth Wednesday of every month finds me hosting a writing group in my home. There are anywhere from 2 to 4 ladies besides myself who attend. Usually I try to make sure my house looks semi-decent, ie: avoid the bomb just went off look. This Wednesday found my house looking just the opposite. All the effort I put into getting the house straightened yesterday had evaporated into a fine mist, leaving not even the slightest trace behind.

The morning was packed, rushed and busy with little time for feeding the baby, let alone cleaning anything. Upon picking up Emily from kindergarten I plead with her to be my super-duper helper, and she happily agreed.

I should have known based on the powers of destructiveness in the morning – what small things I did get done were immediately undone – that success in presenting a clean home was not meant to be. I was chatting with one of the writing group members on the phone when Emily walked up to me in near tears.

She held up the glass syrup container that we keep soy sauce in. “This spilled. It was an accident.”

I told her that was find and came to clean up the mess. It hadn’t just spilled – it had been accidently knocked out of the fridge. There was a massive puddle of soy sauce that Jacob was dropping napkins in in an effort to “Holp.” (There is nothing cuter than to here his little three-year-old self say, “I holp you, Mom! I holp you!”) The napkins would quickly turn black and drip their way across the floor as Jacob carried them to the garbage can on the other side of the room. Obviously this was not working.

I quickly grabbed a towell and mopped up the soy sauce mess. Then I snagged the mop and zipped it around. Emily was trying to make peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches, and I was try to clean things up when I happened upon a phone that needed to be charged. I walked into the kitchen – momentarily forgetting that the floor was wet from mopping because of the blasted soy sauce.

I was not walking slowly, nor carefully. I was on a mission! I hit that wet floor and I knew in an instant I was in trouble as my feet did this crazy side step/ slide move that would have impressed the best dancers and I found myself momentarily suspended in air.

I felt like a cartoon. It seemed to me that I hovered in the air above the floor – looked down and thought “This is going to hurt,” just before slamming into the kitchen floor on both knees – my arm coming down on the top of an open cupboard. I think a nice sized crater could have been made by those knees – I hit that hard.

Emily and Jacob looked on with awe as I tried to gingerly move off my knees. The minute I eased off the knees the pain sensors hit my brain and with a sharp intake of breath I uttered, “Yep. That hurt.” And promptly laid down on my side wishing the pain away.

“Are you ok?” an anxious Emmy asked.

“Mommy die, Emmy,” Jacob answered in hushed tones.

At that response I couldn’t help a hearty chuckle. (we frequently have death scenes in our house – he didn’t think I was REALLY dead) “I’m not dead Jacob.”

“I think we should jump on her,” says Emily. (we also have frequent jump on and wrestle sessions in our house when people are dying on the floor)

That comment got me moving – pain or not – and lauging too. Maybe I shouldn’t have put the Goofy display up on the piano this month. That’s two goofy momments in less than a week. Personally though, I blame it on the Soy Sauce.

Evil, evil soy sauce.

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10 Comments

Filed under Em, Goofs, Humor, Jacob

10 responses to “Blame it on the Soy Sauce … or … Soy Sauce is Evil

  1. It was definitely the fault of the soy sauce!!

    I hope your knees are feeling ok. Ouch!

  2. Philosophical Karen

    Oh man, you had a day! Hope your knees are okay, and I’m glad you could laugh about it.

    Long ago I discovered it hurt less if you laughed about it. 🙂 Knees are good – a bit sore, and I have no intention of kneeling on them for a while, but all is well.

  3. Ouch! Watching kids fall down over and over you sort of forget how much it really hurts until it happens to you, but boy does that hurt! Jacob’s response made me laugh too, though. 🙂

  4. April Brewster

    Yup, there’s nothing like the “holp” of a three year old.

  5. Oh man, Jacob cracks me up!! I’m glad you’re okay. You guys sure have a LOT of laughter in your home, huh?

  6. Ouch! That totally seems like something I would do 😉 As always, I am glad you are alright and thanks for sharing it so we can all laugh with you… evil soy sauce.

  7. Kim

    I can almost hear that Goofy laugh (woo-hooo-hoo-hoo-hooooooo!!!) as you tumbled through the air. Too funny. Hope the knees mend, and you find the remaining soy sauce. Always remember – they’re coming to see you, not the house!! (at least that’s how I talk myself through days like this!!)

  8. Pamala

    I’ve been enjoying catching up. Good thing your okay. LOL

  9. It’s been fun reading through your past few entries to catch up with you guys. Wow, you’ve been busy over there! I hope your knees are feeling better. I had a great (ok, maybe not so great for you) visual of the whole flying through the air thing. Ouch! My Jacob says “Holp”, too, so I could almost hear him saying it while he was trying to help clean. What a sweetie! Always thinking about you guys! Hope you all have a wonderful Father’s Day with Paul!

  10. I hope you are really fine since this was written almost a week ago. Take care of your ‘boo boos’.
    And belated Happy Anniversary! I loved seeing your wedding photos.

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