There’s my house, Mr. Policeman

It’s hard to believe its November already, and that I have a brand new Jacob adventure!

I was rotating between cleaning, writing, and playing with the boys yesterday morning. It’s NaNoWriMo (national novel writing month) again and I am trying to get into full swing of getting my newest book written (nothing has happened yet with the queries and such of the others, but writing is fun – so who cares if I don’t ever get published, I’ll just have fun writing anyway πŸ˜‰ ). I wasn’t expecting anyone so I hadn’t bothered to do my hair yet or put my bra on. I was in my comfy sweats just working, typing, and playing away.

About mid morning I flipped a show on for the boys, they seemed very interested, so I felt safe in disapearing into the bathroom for a few minutes in order to do a little cleaning. I never heard the door open, and the fact that it was unusually quiet meant the boys were ingrained in their show.

I finished what I was doing and went to play with the boys again, I had been in there maybe about 5 minutes or so. Partway down the hall I heard the front door open. “Whose at the door?” I asked myself out loud and sped up a little wondering if Jacob was playing with the door. A second later I collided with the little rapscallion.

“Police here!”

“What? The police?” I ask, very confused. Why would the police be here?

“Yeah! Police here!” He was very excited.

I went to the front door and sure enough there were two policemen waiting patiently one my front step. “Hello?” I asked rather tenatively.

“Hello mam, we recieved a call from a concerned neighbor who saw your son down at street x.”

I felt the color drop out of my face as I looked at my energetic four-year-old who was peering out the window in facination at the police car. “Street x?” I asked. My mind was racing. It wasn’t a very busy street, but busy enough and a good 2 blocks away.

“Yes mam. And when we arrived he was running back and forth across the road.”

“I had slipped into the bathroom for a few minutes to do a little cleaning, I never even heard the door open. We have a lock up high on it, he must have undone it.” I was panicked then, trying to figure out what is going to happen. I look down as James toddles into my legs. To my dismay he had stripped out of his pajamas and found a purple marker. He had beautiful streaks running all up and down his chest and tummy. I pick him up and realize, with much humiliation, that I am standing there conversing with police officers in ratty sweats, messy hair and no bra! Jacob is bouncing around me try to talk to “Mr. Policeman!” And I am feeling like a guilty criminal. We talked some more and they suggested childproof locks, and I explained, I’m sure in desperation, that our houdini boy could undo them all.

The other police officer pipes up and says. “You have four children don’t you?”

“Five actually.”

“That’s right, I was here last month for the 911 hang-up call.” *(More on that call after the post).

I think I would have fainted if it weren’t for his amused smile. “I have a son like yours. We put locks on the doors he figured them out. I put high locks on the doors, he started going out the windows.”

Ah empathy. Perhaps I wasn’t going to be hauled away as the bad mother of the year after all. They proceeded to assure me that all was well. They just had to report that a neighbor called in and the little boy had been returned. No DHS or anything would be notified. As they left, and Jacob was energetically waving the first police officer (not the father of the escaping boy) looks at me and says, “Try to have a good rest of the day, mam.”

I managed a week smile and thank you. Went inside, scolded my Jacob, burst into tears and began looking for chocolate. Sigh. It’s a wonder I’m not gray yet. And from now on, I will be sure my bra is firmly in place no matter how empty of a day I am planning to have and dress James in only clothes that button up from behind (maybe I’ll just put his pajamas on backwards).

I can see the humor in it now…. I think….

*So, Back when I wrote about the retreat I mentioned that there had been a 911 call in my absence. Our oldest was on babysitter duty and Paul had slipped out for a little while to help a friend move into their house. While he was gone Jacob dialed 911 and then hung up. The police, of course, came over to the house. Our oldest was super smart, asking who was there through the door and being very grown-up and all. Everything was fine and she handled it very well. She explained what had happened, gave their names and birthdays, and asked a few times if we were in trouble because Jacob had accidentally dialled 911. They assured her everything was fine and we never heard anything more.

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11 Comments

Filed under Children, Humor, Jacob, Parenting

11 responses to “There’s my house, Mr. Policeman

  1. I’m really really sorry that I can’t stifle my giggles. When Jacob is lamenting over his own wild children you’ll have stories to give HIM grays! And THEN it will be funny for you. I can’t even imagine how frazzled his escapades make you feel. I’m so glad it’s not me! (not that that helps you at all…)

  2. I think we all have one child who is the cause of all our grey!! I thougt the post was funny and a bit scary too. My heart would have stopped when I saw the poilice officer! Some day you will laugh about this and I know you will love telling stories about him to his children!

  3. mcinsane

    Oh dear! I’ve been giggling for some time reading this post! I’m sorry, I feel your pain, and it is kindof funny! We have had several similar experiences. You’ve handled yourself beautifully…braless and all!

  4. Karen

    Oh my! I don’t even know what to say to that. Your police sure are friendly and understanding, though. πŸ™‚

  5. Now I understand why the police were called πŸ˜‰ I truly didn’t get it when you mentioned this on Facebook. Perhaps we should invest in a tracking anklet like the ones the police have hehehe.

  6. lol! When I went on Trek with the youth this past summer, the afternoon of the first day that I was gone, Aunt Amy was watching the kids. She put a movie on for them, then went and took a nap!!! N’iel just walked out the door, down the road a few blocks, heading toward the BUSY road! Some lady picked him up, went knocking door to door until she found our house, and had him returned home before Amy even knew he was gone!!!

    At least that lady didn’t call the police.

    I’m so glad Jacob was returned safe!!! I really have noticed more gray hair on my head since adopting N’iel haha πŸ˜›

  7. moniquel319

    BOYS!!!! Good Grief. I feel your pain.

  8. Oh my!!!! I am glad nothing really bad happened. You are going to have to install airlocks on your doors so that they are too heavy for him to open them.

  9. Joy H

    Julia, I am so sorry! That is horrible. I have an escape artist too…he took his brother with him one morning on an escape, while I was nursing my newborn. The police officer brought them home in his car. I thought my husband had come home and taken them somewhere, since he does that at times. But I didn’t feel right. I was worried to find my boys. Thank goodness the police found them, but it was horrifying for me too.

  10. Holy Cow… That is an experience! That little Jacob is a handful! Hang on momma, you’re doing a fab job and your little escape artist is still in good hands!!

    Congrats on finishing NaNoWriMo! I’ve buddied you! But I won’t be finishing it this year cause I’m too far behind… next year perhaps!

  11. Oh my goodness! I’m catching up on my blog reading… Those boys!!! Great advice by the way!

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