Monthly Archives: March 2010

We serve nudes at our dinner table

The other night we were seated around the table enjoying a spetacular shrimp pasta. We had also made a white cheddar pasta for the kids in case they didn’t like the shrimp (didn’t want to waste it if they didn’t like it – more for us!).

Elizabeth quickly cleaned her plate and held it up. “Can I have some more nudes please?”

I did a double take and spluttered a bit. “Some what dear?”

“Some nudes.”

So I had heard her right. I started laughing, the kind that starts as a little chuckle and builds and builds. “Honey do you know what nude means?”

“No.” She was beginning to look a bit bewildered at her insanely laughing mom and glanced toward Dad who was chuckling into his cup.

“It means naked,” I explained through my laughter.

“Oh.” She gave us a sheepish grin and began laughing. “Oops. I’d like some more noodles, please.”

“That we can do, but we don’t serve naked people here,” I happily commented, to which Dad almost lost his water all over the table and Liz and I cascaded into helpless laughter as the rest of the family looked on trying to figure out what was so very funny.


Filed under Children, Humor, Lizy, Things Kids Say

More Jacobisms, one Dadism, and James’ acrobatics

We were driving home from the Portland Children’s Museum on Saturday evening after attending the Andaluz Waterbirth Center potluck. I’m not quite sure how, but the topic of electricity came up. One of the kids asked if all the lights went out would our car lights go out too so we couldn’t see. We explained that they wouldn’t, but Jacob was worried now that the lights would all go out.

Finally Dad said, “Jacob, close your eyes.” He did and Dad exclaimed, “Power out!” Then he said, “Open you eyes.” Jacob once again obeyed. “Power on!” They did this a few more times – close eyes, power out, open eyes, power on.

Finally, after the third time or so, as he opened his eyes, Jacob exclaimes, “AWESOME!”

Our poor kids are going to be SO warped.


Jacob loves toast. He can put the bread in and push down the button and finds it absolutely facinating. The other day, while I was cleaning my office (a huge feat – it was more like excavating, really), the boys decided they needed toast. Did they ask me? Of course not! They just happily began to play with the toaster. Well, after a little while I realized I hadn’t seen the boys in about five minutes – bad news, especially where boys are concerned. I exited my office to investigate and smelled smoke. there was a haze hovering over the kitchen.

In I ran and discovered Jacob pushing the button down once again on an already thoroughly blackened piece of bread. I dived at the toaster with a resounding now! And popped it up again. Smoke roiled forth and as I pulled the hapless piece of toast from it’s death little waves of smoke wafted from is poor blackened being. Windows were thrown open and fans turned on, but I swear the house still smells smokey, and when I open certain cupboards they smell like they have a smoking habit.

I have to say, at least he didn’t set the toaster on fire like I did, once upon a time. (And I MUCH prefer smoke over mounds of brown sugar all over my living room – I had to shampoo the carpet a million times! Well, Paul did, I was too nautious after trying to vaccuum it all up with the shopvac.)

A couple weekends ago, Paul and I were ordering Chinese take out for our date since the kids were sick. He was reading over my shoulder and suddenly says. “Human beef?”

I blinked in astonishment. “What?”

“Oh, never mind, it says Hunan beef.”

I wonder if I should worry about him turning canibal on me… hee hee

James is our little gymnast. He has great capabilities. I first began to notice his major gymnast talents when we had the brown sugar issue in the living room and all the cushions were off of the couch. Since, without the cushions, it was lower to the ground he would balance on the edge and summersault off and onto the floor. Now he does it with the cushions on.

Then, the other day, Paul caught him balanced precariously between two bar stools. We have bar stools at our counter so the kids can sit while we cook and work and check out what we are doing. Anyway, he had lined up two bar stools and climbed up, balancing betwen them with one leg on the one, and the other leg on the other, doing the splits. He just sat there, hanging between the two bar stools in the splits until he decided he was done and couldn’t quite figure out how to get down.

Later that day we caught him balanced on the arm of the rocking chair. He was standing on the arm and holding onto the back with one hand – the other straight out in the air and rocking back and forth – acrobatic training anyone? We gave him the whole, that is not proper rocking chair behaviour lecture. I think it will have to be repeated in the future.

He climbs everything, but not only does he climb it, he jumps off of it. He prefers if you are there to catch him, but he’ll jump regardless. I’d consider putting him into gymnastics, but the consequences could be ghastly. lol! I can see him now, swinging from the lights and ceiling fans in an attempt to mimic the high bar or something.

I just love my boys. 😀


Filed under Children, Humor, Jacob, James, Things Kids Say