(as written by Dot)
Dear the *Family,
Please do not eat me for Thanksgiving. I have three reasons why you should not eat me.
One is because ham tastes much better than turkey.
Two is because I am cute and adorable.
Three is because if you eat me I can’t be your pet and I am very helpful and responsible.
So why don’t you go get a
rather than a small, scrawny, adorable, helpful and responsible turkey. I’ll even change the dirty diapers. I will also babysit the kids, but that will only happen if you
DO NOT EAT ME!!
*She had our last name here, but I took it out for blogging.
The only other things I changed were the color, sizing, and separation – though the final “do not eat me” was original to her letter.