I said yes, instead of no, and that has made all the difference

So many times as parents we tell our children no when they want to do things with us.

We’re too tired.

We’re too busy.

We don’t feel like it.

We’d rather get the cleaning done, or maybe we just slipped into that delicious book we started a week ago and have been waiting to find out what happens next.

I know I’ve been guilty of it far too often, but there was one week where I didn’t say no. It was Spring Break.

On Sunday the kids wanted to lay outside while Dad grilled dinner. I said yes and read “Harry Potter” to them on the grass.

On Monday the kids wanted to use our newly created fire pit. It wasn’t really finished, but I asked Dad and he said Yes (even though he wanted to finish it first) and we had our first hotdog roast in the backyard and read scriptures and ghost stories around the fire. It is an AWESOME memory.

On Tuesday I had planned to take the kids hiking, but the morning was slow and things weren’t going the best and I almost changed me mind. It took them hiking, even though I wanted to just stay home and we had an amazing time. I was blessed with a special experience and some wonderful fun memories.

On Wednesday Lizy asked if I could take her shopping. She’d earned some money babysitting and needed some new shoes. I wasn’t really in the mood to go. The house was a wreck after our hike the day before, and there was SO much that needed to be done. But, despite all that, I said yes. We had the BEST time. We laughed and joked and she found some adorable pink flip flops with a big pink flower on each one and a pair of new tennis shoes. She even had enough to get the CD she wanted – Ocean Eyes by Owl City and we had fun listening to the fireflies song.

That night when Em went to a friend’s house, she and Dot wanted to sleep in the basement. I said yes, and I didn’t even complain when they stayed up to 12:20 – I’m so glad I didn’t send them to bed early. I’m so glad they had that time together.

On Thursday morning the kids cut pictures out of old magazines and then the accident happened.

I am so grateful I said yes.

I am so grateful I said yes, when I wanted to say no.

I am so grateful that instead of a week of regrets, I have a week of wonderful memories.

I am SO grateful that I had that last mother/daughter date with my little Lizy.

Life is so precious. Hobbies and cleaning can wait to a degree. I know we need to say no once in a while, but we need to say yes more often. We never know when our yes, might be the last yes we can say.

Enjoy your children. Put down the broom, the computer, the washcloth, the book, the amazing project your doing, and go play with them now. They’ll never forget the time you spend with them, and beleive me…..

neither will you.

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20 Comments

Filed under Child loss, Children, Family, Lizy, Parenting, Philosophy

20 responses to “I said yes, instead of no, and that has made all the difference

  1. Karen

    Yes. This.
    Thinking of you and your family, Julia. Every day.

  2. Tracy

    Thanks for the beautiful reminder and for being such a great example!

  3. Liz hall

    What an inspirational post. The last statement gave me chills. I’m so glad you had the wisdom to say yes, and I believe it is wisdom and not just leaving the house a mess bc you’d rather just go play with the kids. It’s a hard decision sometimes and with so much to do as a homemaker and mother it is hard to find a balance.,but it’s good to have reminders of what’s truly important. And like you said you never know what will happen. I like how you are remembering these things and writing about them. Your kids are very blessed to have you as their Mama!

  4. Wow, I am speechless. Thank you so much for sharing your incredible last week with Lizy.

  5. Taslima Stoddard

    Thanks so much for the reminder! I tend to be the say “no” mom. Julia you have an amazing family, and thank you for sharing this experience with us…you have helped me in so many ways from your post!

  6. April Strawn

    Such a gorgeous post. Thank you for reminding us what’s really important.

  7. Pingback: More Wisdom « Glossary of Happy Endings

  8. Bethany

    I don’t know your family but saw your blog through a friends FB post and had to read! In tears I read of your beautiful daughter and amazing family, what a blessing she is to your lives. I have a daughter the same age and there are many similarities and I can’t imagine the heart ache you feel right now, Thank you for sharing, I pray for you and your family to always feel the peace in your home of the spirit and thank you for the reminder to love and cherish each and every moment!

  9. I have no words, except thank you.
    Yes.

  10. Heather said exactly what I was going to say.
    Yes.

  11. Great words of advice…”Enjoy your children.” Thank you.

  12. Wendy

    I love this. It’s something I’ve been working on the past few months–and now I shall try even harder.

  13. Thanks for writing that. I definitely need to say yes more.
    Hugs to you.

  14. I needed to read this today, Julia. I need to say yes more often, I need to step away from projects and realize how precious our time together is. Thank you so much for this. ❤

  15. Sarah

    Thanks for the reminder! I need to remember to slow down and not be so task oriented every moment.

  16. Alison

    I am filled with so much emotion. This is the most beautiful and inspirational post. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. I already can’t wait to say yes! You are an inspiration to me.

  17. I am with everyone else… I also am one to say no too often, usually by dinner time I am fried, so afterwards I don’t want to do anything. Last night I said yes and we went out to play croquet…

    Yes is good.

  18. Beautiful post. I am glad you said yes too. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  19. Betty

    Yes, my heart and thoughts are with you; yes, my words escape me.

  20. This is the best advice ever. I need to say yes lots more often!

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