We Do Hard Things

One of the hardest things for me since Lizy passed away has been writing.

I love writing – I write middle grade and young adult books (no, I’m not published yet – maybe some day – I just love to write).

Lizy was one of my biggest writing fans.

She eagerly listened to all of my insane plots.

Begged me to read her my books

and became insanely upset when I told I was going to completely revamp my Belinda book

until I told her the new ideas.

On our mommy daughter date before her accident I had told her all about one of my books she hadn’t read and I was supposed to give her a copy to read in the next couple days.

And she always firmly believed I’d be published.

She also loved to write. She’d attend my writing groups and write short pieces of her own.

I strived to keep that love for writing alive in her and my other daughters.

But ever since she passed away I’ve avoided it.

At first it was because I was too distracted to concentrate.

And later I think it became too hard. I lost my desire to write and didn’t feel motivated to do it or encourage my girls in their writing.

So, today I made a decision.

I need to write, whether I want to or not.

For Lizy

for me

and for my two other girls

and the rest of my family.

It’s hard. I’m supposed to be editing my book tonight (editing counts as writing 🙂 ). I’m avoiding it.

I suppose it all comes in babysteps.

1 page today

2 tomorrow.

And before long I’ll be working on that Belinda book she loved so much.

I tell my kids all the time,

“We do hard things.”

Well, I figure I better get started. 🙂

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8 Comments

Filed under Child loss, Writing

8 responses to “We Do Hard Things

  1. Jonesingafter40

    Every time I read one of your posts I am amazed at the strength and courage you have to move forward, for your family, for yourself, and for Lizy. May God bless you!

  2. I will be first in line to buy your Belinda book!!

  3. Betty

    I found the way out was through. It might help to just accept you still need to cry first, (yes… more….again!)…. to get more grief tears out… before you feel the love of writing return. It takes time…. longer than you think. It could be the grieving and crying you’re avoiding…. not the love of writing. Just a thought. Stock up on Kleenex and cry and write. You’re in good company… Jesus wept…. and He was always strong. Ecclesiastes 7: 2-4 comforts me. Hugs and empathy!

  4. Zen Mama

    We do hard things. Yes. Absolutely. Yes.
    Good for you for being such a good example to your family and to us.

  5. Lisa

    I think of you, Lizy and your family often. I was Lizy’s math teacher last year and she told me once about loving to write. I don’t remember the details of the story she was telling me about, but I remember her smile when she was telling me about it! I was disappointed that I didn’t get Dot in class, but I enjoy seeing her in the halls.

  6. Julia, I love you! My heart aches every time you share how you are feeling. I hope that you will once again be happy writing, and maybe while you write, you will feel a comfort and a happy presence of a little fan and daughter named Lizy.

  7. Karen

    “We do hard things.” You are an inspiration, Julia.

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