Tag Archives: boys

The Realistic Mommy Blog

So far in the New Year…. (to be read with much humor – this is not a whiny post, I promise)

Dog ran off and taken by the pound
Crock pot broke
Car battery died
Watches broke
Glasses broke
Picture broke
Poor cat carted around in a pillow case
Cat food dumped everywhere
Snow day after snow day after snow day after snow day after… (is
the month of January included in winter vacations out here?)
Regular sugar spilled
Power breakers shut off
Laundry soap spilled (while being played in with match box cars)
Heater turned off
Refrigerator and Freezer shut off
5 lbs of powder sugar dumped ALL over my kitchen and spread through
the entire main floor of my house
The other car battery died
Husband working late more nights than I can count
World wars 3,4,5,and 6 have all started and ended in our house –
actually some of them are ongoing
Temper tantrums galore
Sleds shattered
Dog destroyed the cover to the grill (why did we pay to get him back?)
Poo spots, pee spots (ah the joy of potty training)
Food on the floor, on the walls, and yes, even on the ceiling
Upstairs Bathroom flooded (we were catching water below in the garage)

and

to top it off

NO INTERNET OR PHONE (our phone is through our internet) FOR OVER 5 DAYS!!! And when they did fix it it’s been either stinkin’ slow or disconnects every few minutes.

I wonder if I read this post backwards if it will all come back or fix itself. In the meantime, enjoy this wonderful new theme song I have come up with for my boys…

Just two good old boys, never meanin’ no harm….
Beats all you never saw, been in trouble with their ma
Since the day they was born.

Straightenin’ the curves, flattenin’ the hills….
Someday the mountain might get ’em but their ma never will.

Makin’ their way, the only way they know how…
That’s just a little bit more than their ma will allow.

Just two good ol’ boys, wouldn’t change if they could,
Fightin’ the system like a two-year-old Robin Hood…

*inspired by a wonderful article about mormon mommy bloggers and their shiny picture perfect lives oh, and of course the ever so fabulous Dukes of Hazzard

6 Comments

Filed under Every Day Life, Family, Humor, Jacob, James, Music

Making Mischief

Food coloring and kids seem to have a magnetic draw. They seek each other out and create beautiful things. In my husband’s case it was a dyed poodle (I think – he can correct me if I am wrong) in Jacob’s case it was bubbles.

He wanted to dye the bottles of bubbles different colors – and dye them he did. I was out with the kids in the backyard and Jacob had gone inside to use the bathroom. Unbeknownst to me he made a swift detour into the kitchen and snagged the food coloring. I noticed when one of the bottles was spilled and looked a strange vibrant green. And then I saw a splotch of blue someplace else.

Then I saw the bottom of Jacob’s feet, after he had stepped in one of the puddles of spilled dyed bubbles – they were bright blue! James got a hold of one of the bottles and had his face dyed blue, his hands dyed blue, his feet dyed blue. It was decided that evening as we hung out in the teepee that we have a tribe of the blue-foot indians. 🙂

That was Monday, and I sincerely hoped the mischief was over, but unfortunately the trouble for the week had just begun. Tuesday brought a babysitter and disastrous consequences as she underestimated Jacob’s mischeif making prowess. He ate half a box of icecream bars, went through numerous cans of juice concentrate that I swear were poured all over the floor as you couldn’t walk a few feet without having to leaf a layer of skin behind as you peeled your foot off the ground. He also decided to paint with the toothpaste all over the bathroom floor. And where was the babysitter during all this? My question exactly – needless to say, we won’t be having her back anytime soon.

I had hoped that after yesterday he had exhausted his mischief creativity – but obviously not. Today I had a few important phone calls to make and disappeared into my office while the kids ate breakfast. Apparantly they wanted sugar and couldn’t open the big bucket. To Jacob’s credit, Dorothy was the one who had the big idea – he just was the happy benefactor. She decided to pull the 25 lb (or so) bag of sugar off the shelf in the garage, rip it open, and fetch a cup of sugar.

When I stumbled upon the scene, Jacob was happily sitting in the middle of the garage floor with sugar all around him happily chowing away. There was sugar EVERYwhere. I vacuumed and vacuumed and vacuumed some more, and that floor is still sticky.

Man, if the week keeps going like this, I will committed to the insane assylum at the end of it!

8 Comments

Filed under Children, Humor, Jacob, Things Kids Say

Well, He’s Got the Idea at Least

Traduccion al Espanol

We are still working on potty training Jacob. He can go in the toilet and knows he should go in the toilet, but gets so busy or involved that he doesn’t want to go in the toilet. For him he only goes if he feels like it – which is more often not, unfortunately.

Yesterday I had just finished cleaning up a stinky when the phone rang. It was a woman I had talked with last week about starting piano lessons. She had called to schedule a lesson time with me (yay!). I sent Jacob off to use the toilet and get dressed and began to talk with the woman on the phone.

A few minutes into the conversation Jacob ran up to me. Out of the corner of my eye I saw him triumphantly hold up a ziploc bag and declare, “I did it!”

Still trying to schedule the piano lessons I turned my attention on Jacob and saw that the ziploc bag had a fair quantity of yellow water in.

It suddenly hit me as I took the bag from him what I was holding – A ziploc baggy of pee!

Instead of running to the toilet he had peed in a baggy. I ended up spending the rest of my phone conversation holding a baggy of pee up over my head with Jacob jumping around me trying to get it back. I barely managed to finish my conversation in a dignified manner before hanging up and calling Paul.

“You’ll never believe what I am holding in my hand right now,” I told him and broke down in laughter.

13 Comments

Filed under Children, Humor, Jacob

To the Moms with Boys

A heart friend of mine posted this on her blog, and so I just had to steal it, knowing how many of my friends – especially you blogging friends- had boys…

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year old Boy’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 ft. room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words “uh oh”, it’s already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36- year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10. Certain Lego’s will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR’s do not eject “PB & J” sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin , TX has a 5-minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24. 80% of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

25. 80% of Men who read this will try mixing Clorox and brake fluid.

6 Comments

Filed under Parenting

A Trip to the Pet Store

Jacob and I ran our errands this morning, went to the post office, got gas, and other odds and ends. When everything was done there was only half an hour before time to pick Emily up from Kindergarten.  Not enough time to go home, but not enough time to do any of the bigger errands such as a grocery store run.  Then I realized I was only a block away from our local pet store.  It is a really neat pet store with all sorts of different kinds of animals and kids and patrons are invited to pet and touch the animals.  So, Jacob and I made a visit to the pet store.

He was enthralled with the bunnies and enjoyed petting them, and then there were the huge tortoises roaming a corner of the store that he thought were really cool.  Though he did hide behind my leg when one of the tortoises started moving towards him.  He hopped up and down at the sight of the fish, oohed at the lizards, and giggled at the birds.  He was entranced as he watched ferrets run around their glass cage.  And there was a cat that promptly got him meowing.  This pet store doesn’t typically have dogs and cats, but will have and sell them from time to time, especially for owners who are looking for a new home.

Today they happened to have an adorable Samoyed puppy.  He was roaming the store greeting the guests and chewing on his rawhide bone.  It didn’t take long for this little guy and Jacob to make friends.  Jacob would see the puppy and go wild with excitement, calming down to pet her gently.  The playful puppy would lick his hand and nip at his shoes sending Jacob into delighted giggles.  It didn’t take long before this adorable little dog was following us – or should I say Jacob – all over the store.

Jacob blew kisses to the dog and waved bye-bye when it was time to go.  The staff was haulingin a shipment of various petfood bags, so the door was open as we left.  We walked out the door and were almost past the big glass display windows when I felt a movement behind me. I turned and saw a gal that worked there bend to scoop up the dog in her arms.  I apologized to the little puppy, “I’m sorry, we can’t take you home today.”  But I thought it was so cute how the puppy tried to follow us home, she and Jacob sure made friends.

Aside from the fact that Samoyed are rather high maitenance dogs – and I am definitely NOT up for a high maitenance puppy, she was a whopping $529 – WAY out of our budget.  Right now, anything above free is would be considered out of our budget, heh. 

It sure was fun watching Jacob and the Samoyed play though.

4 Comments

Filed under Children, Jacob

Random Jacob Post

How is it that someone with short chubby little legs, not even a quarter the length of your own can run circles around you, even when you are in top form? Jacob officially turned 18 months last week and I think someone flipped a switch inside him and sent him reeling (or maybe I’m the one reeling) into toddlerhood. Baby no longer, we have a boy in the house! 🙂

******
My girls were quick and curious, but nothing compared to Jacob. After his exploration with the straw he managed to get a hold of my mini mp3 player that I strap on my arm and listen to when I walk in the mornings. As I walked my three miles I realized that my left ear was gargling. It must have been introduced into the doggie bowl as well.

******
Jacob decided that Susie (our dog) needed to bob for her food and dumped it into her water without my knowledge. Poor Susie got sick and threw up (at least it was outside) because she got too much water while trying to eat her food.

******
Jacob snagged a toothbrush out of the bathroom (one of his fortunate sisters) and proceeded to brush his teeth . . . yup! With dog water.
I sure hope there are some great benefits to dog water, because at this point, he’s had a lot of it! 🙂

******
I was not feeling well on Saturday and I layed down on the couch to watch Star Wars Episode I. The kids were bored and I didn’t want to watch another insipid cartoon for the 500 millionth time, so I put in Star Wars, because at least it was something we could all thoroughly enjoy. Jacob awoke from his nap at the very end where the big light-saber battle is in play. I plunked him in the middle of the room after changing his diaper.
He turned and looked up at the tv to see the amazing duel. His face lit up like he’d just gotten a free pass to Disney World. His chubby legs carried him quick as lightning around the back of the chair. When he emerged he had one sword in each hand and was waving them wildly in the air.
Yup, he’ll do just fine. 🙂

******
If it has even the slightest remote possibility of being climbed . . . it will be, regardless of the consequences. Nothing can keep him in and nothing can keep him out.

******
We were walking into the store this morning when a big loud truck drove past us and started to park. Jaocb stopped in mid-step. “Yea!” he said clapping his hands together. He wouldn’t budge until the ignition was turned off. Just stood clapping and cheering all the while, then as we walked away he proceeded to wave bye-bye to the truck and blow it kisses.

******
One last thing we have noticed about our little toddler boy. He appears to be left handed. He eats and draws with his left hand, though he does a number of things with his right hand too. It’s just kind of fun to see all the changes and to finally experience how different a little boy is from 3 little girls. 🙂

7 Comments

Filed under Children, Heart, Humor, Jacob, Parenting