Tag Archives: Things Kids Say

If You’re going to play family games, be prepared for the consequences…

I might blog every day this week – there have been so many great things this Christmas weekend.

Tonight, however, I shall share with you our funny faux-pas courtesy of

Apples

to

Apples

(for those of you who haven’t played the game the gist is the judge places a word on the table and everyone else choose a word from their hand that best fits – the judge decides which one wins)

Word:

Intelligent

card accidentally played by our daughter:

Divorce

(hopefully there was no secret meaning there)

Word:

Neglected

The card I couldn’t resist playing that none of the kids understood:

My Lovelife

(my hubby laughed insanely – trying to decide how I should take that one – ha ha)

Word:

Playful

it came down to two choices:

Barbed Wire

vs.

Mafia

Barbed Wire won

and finally, the icing on the cake, so to say…

the word was, well, I don’t even remember actually. The card that won was The Mississippi River and I guffawed and Paul was saying something about Nauvoo being along the Mississippi River to which Em says:

“What’s Nauvoo?”

Dot, full of big sisterly wisdom and love replies,

“That place in Star Wars, Du-uh!”

To which Dad and I reply,

“Uh, Honey, that was Naboo….”

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12 Days of Christmas

Last year I acquired a new Christmas CD by Straight No Chaser a men’s accapella group.

My sole purposeĀ  for buying the CD was to get a copy of their version of

12 Days of Christmas.

It’s a kick in the pants.

Just like the rest of the songs on the CD.

The other day Jacob was playing with Dad in his office when their version of 12 Days of Christmas came on.

He gave Dad a funny look.

“Dad, that doesn’t make sense.”

“What, the song?”

“Yes. Where is the real one?”

So, in case you haven’t heard it – here is the song that doesn’t make sense:

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Jacob’s take on the Easter Bunny

The other day Jacob came home from school with a paper bag bunny basket he had made with candy in it. He was very excited as he showed it to me, explaining that they had decorated them the day before.

“So, the Easter bunny came to the school during the night and filled your basket?” I asked.

“No, silly, Mrs. — was the Easter Bunny.” He had his hands on his hips, looking rather indignant.

“Oh. Well, who’s the Easter bunny here then? Will she come fill all of our baskets?”

“Noooooo,” He drew out the word and raised his voice at the end. “The bunnies in the backyard, they come in and put candy in our baskets.”

“Oh. You mean the little brown ones you were watching the other day?”

“Yup! But they were black and white, Mom.”

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Commical Quips (Last week ended up being rather humerous I guess)

Jacob went to his first football game with Dad and his sisters. After he got home he was so excited to tell me all about the game. In one breath the words game tumbling out in a hilarious jumble.

“The red team tries to knock the blue team down and the blue team tries to knock the red team down and the band goes doo doo doo* and the blue team knocks the red team down and that’s bad.”

*I have to note that on the “doo doo doo” it was sung and his hands came up in front of his mouth to imitate playing and instrument.

***

I was reading Paul a friend’s status on Facebook and the kids over heard. The conversation ended up flowing something like this. Now, I need to note that this friend (a piano student of mine in Oregon) has horses and had given the kids horse rides at one point and we had watched her, her brother, and mom ride in the parade (she’s in high school).

Mom reading student’s status to Dad: I hate deer! Stupid stupid stupid!

Dorothy: Why does she hate deer?

Dad looks at mom and they pass a knowing nod: Because she hit one.

Dorothy: On her horse?

A moment later Dorothy begins singing: *Jayden got ran over by a reindeer.

*The name has been changed to protect the innocent.

***

Bathtime on Saturday evening, after Mom had noted Emily’s very dirty face underneath her pirate hat, and commented that she looked the part very well.

Dad: Emily, go upstairs and take a shower in our bathroom.

Emily: No!

Dad: What did you say?

Emily: No.

Dad: Did you tell me no? Why?

Emily (after hemming and hawing and much shoulder shrugging): I’m uncomfortable doing things I don’t do very well and I don’t know how to use your shower very well.

Emily then grumpily exited the room to the family room where I was sitting with baby: Now I can’t be a real pirate because I’ll be clean!*

*I think we finally got to root of the problem there.

***

Mom, pointing to the horse pulling the wagon: Horse, James.

James: Yeehaw!

Mom: Horse.

James: Yeehaw!

Mom: Say H-o-r-se

James, bouncing up and down pretending to hold the reins: YEEEEEHAAAAW!*

*It should be noted that this has been an ongoing theme for quite some time – every time we point to a horse or a picture of a horse James says “Yeehaw!” rather than horse. šŸ˜€

***

Elizabeth was getting ready for school one night and gathering all of her things together. Paul and I sat in the family room chatting and watching her run upstairs and downstairs multiple times. Finally, she came walking through the kitchen (which we have an easy view of) towards the bathroom carrying her toothbrush.

Mom: Why are you brushing your teeth down here?

Lizard: I’m not, I’m getting everything ready for tomorrow and this way I don’t have to go upstairs after breakfast to brush my teeth.

Mom: But there’s already toothpaste on it!

Lizard: Yeah. That way its ready. (The grin on her face notes she thinks she is brilliant.)

Mom (and Dad): Ewwwww! It’ll get all dried out. And you’ll forget and end up with 5-day old toothpaste crusted on your brush that you’ll need pliers to get off. *

*She did forget about it and found her toothbrush three days later (of course after she convinced Dad that she had lost it for real and obtained a new one). She did however have the good enough sense to wash the toothpaste off after we had laughed and had our “ewww!” conversation.

***

I feel like I should have something here for Robert, since all the others are covered in this blog. But, I don’t. Well, maybe I do….

Robert is a gassy baby. Partly my fault – the reason why can by found in this post. The other day I was playing with him and doing what we call “Running Man” where we take their legs (while they are laying down) and pretend to make them run. After a couple laps around the invisible track he began farting every time I pushed his left leg toward his tummy. Which James thought was hysterical. We got quite the rhythm going and even I was chuckling after a while. šŸ˜€

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Of ShouldersĀ andĀ Wheels

While we were watching General Conference on Saturday, Jacob found a car tire from one of his toy cars. He was running around playing with it until Dad noticed that it had the metal wire part attached and confiscated it so he wouldn’t poke someone’s eye out.

Jacob occupied himself with other things and quite forgot about the toy tire, until that is it was announced that the choir and congregation were going to sing. “Put your shoulder to the wheel.” I watched as Jacob suddenly became alert with the dawning of understanding. He looked at Dad who was concentrating on watching conference. Jacob poked his elbow out and started wiggling his shoulder all while looking at Dad, who coincidentally had picked up the tire some few minutes ago sitting beside him and was spinning it in his fingers.

Immediately I put the two together and started laughing. Dad looked at me, a little confused. “What?”

I nodded my head at Jacob’s wiggling shoulder. “You have the wheel.”

Dad started laughing and held it out as Jacob broke into a grin and bumped his shoulder against it. “Put shoulder to the wheel!” He announced triumphantly. The rest of the song was lost on us as we laughed and Jacob joyously bounced his shoulder on the wheel in time to the music.

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A CoupleĀ Jacobisms

So, the other day I was heading to the music store to get Elizabeth and Dorothy’s music books for band. There had been a lot of talk of instruments lately as we had managed to track down the flute for Liz and the trumpet for Dot, and Emily had asked once or twice about a violin – though we explained she wouldn’t be starting for a little while yet. So it was only mildly surprising when Jacob, hearing that I was heading to the music store, came tearing into my room. “Mom, are you getting my drum?”

I think there is a budding percussionist in the family. After all, he was the one that before he could even walk would arrange all our rhythm instruments and toy drums in a semi circle around him and play away.

***

We let our cat, Spitfire, roam around outside frequently, though we always bring her in at night. Because of Murdoch and her not getting along too well yet – she’s a conniving little thing and constantly baits him – she spends the night in the basement. Well, the other day she had gotten in a cat fight and had a bloody lip when we brought her in from outside. The next morning Jacob, after seeing the cat for the first time, came running to our room.

“Mom, Dad, there’s a monster in our basement, cause it tried to eat spitfire, and Spitfire still has blood on her lip, and the monster is in the basement, and you need to come and get the monster.”

After trying not to guffaw with laughter we explained that she was not attacked by a monster in the basement and the basement is perfectly safe. I love imagination!

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LittleĀ PigsĀ sayā€¦

“James, what does a cow say?”

“Mooo,” says James.

“What does a sheep say?”

“Baaaa.” Of course his baa is accompanied with a head shake.

“And, what do pigs say?”

“La,la la!”

At which Paul and I dissolve into laughter. We’ve read him Sandra Boynton’s book, “Moo, Baa, La La La“, one two many times (we have two copies – one older from when Liz was born and one newer from James – since they look different, James insists we read both) and no matter how we try to convince him that pigs really do say oink, and we even accompany the oinking with exuberant snorting, he is certain that pigs say “la la la!” in a cute head bobbing sing-song. Oh, Sandra, what have you done to my child? šŸ˜€

Not to worry, I am sure that Robert will follow in his big brother’s footsteps, since that is a family favorite book and we’re okay with singing pigs.

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IntroducingĀ Robert

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7 lbs 13 oz. 21 1/2 inches long. Born at 7:32 Friday, September 3rd and adorable as all get out!

We had joked a few weeks before that it would be perfect if he were born the Friday before labor day because Paul had Monday off. Well, in all honesty the idea wasn’t mine – my friend Emily (due just two days after me) divulged her plan to have a Labor Day weekend baby whilst we were visiting teaching one night. It sounded good – We never thought it would actually happen! He had been breech for a long time and was not wanting to turn. So, we scheduled to do a version on Friday morning – hoping they would be able to turn him and avoid a c-section.

Paul gave me a blessing the night before and the baby was blessed that he would turn. I went to bed shortly after and it felt like he was having party in there! He was kicking and moving so much I could hardly sleep.

Friday morning I woke bright and early – well early at least, and headed up to the hospital – I had to be there by 7. My hope was that if they got him to turn we’d induce – not give him the chance to turn back again, and it just felt like the right thing to do.

So, I got to the hospital and they got me prepped. Our midwife went to check the baby’s position and mentioned she thought he had already turned. She did an ultrasound to make sure, and yup, smart kid had turned on his own during the night. Smart guy, no wonder it felt like he was having a party in there. So, they decided to go ahead and induce and I was very happy. It felt like he was ready to come, and I was SO ready for him to be here.

We started things slow and when the contractions were finally picking up around 4:30 they went ahead and broke my water and that’s when things really got moving. After 5 babies born all naturally, and having to do this one so completely different, I decided to be a wimp and have an epidural. I must say it was the right decision this time and it was wonderful (though I wouldn’t change any of my previous births at all). Little guy was born 3 hours later. It was a wonderful experience.

So we began our family with a horrible hospital experience when Liz was born and ended it with a wonderful hospital experience when Robert was born. Seems fitting. šŸ˜€ Anyway, we are so happy to have him here – and I’m happy to not be pregnant anymore :-D. There have been so many wonderful blessings and miracles around this birth, we are truly blessed.

I had to stay a minimum of 24 hours in the hospital – there are some required tests here in Ohio that have to be done at 24 hours of age, but I convinced them to spring me after the required 24 hours – yay for kid number 6 and being an experienced mom!

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Paul brought the kids up on Saturday and they were all so enthralled with the baby.

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We’ve already had some priceless comments from them on the new little tyke.

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James was just taken with him and kept saying, “Baby” over and over again. Then that night Paul was helping him say his prayers and said, “Please bless Robert.” James looked up at him and said, “Who?”

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Jacob proclaimed, shortly after meeting his new baby brother, “But he doesn’t do anything!”

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Dorothy, after seeing pictures of him just after he was born (but after they had already put him in a onesie) asked in no small amount of awe, “We’re born with our clothes on?”

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Emily didn’t say much – I think she was absolutely speechless and in love with him on sight.

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Elizabeth couldn’t quit talking about how adorable he was. I happen to agree. šŸ˜€

So, welcome aboard, Robert! We’re a nutty bunch, but something tells me you’ll fit in just fine…

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We serve nudes at our dinner table

The other night we were seated around the table enjoying a spetacular shrimp pasta. We had also made a white cheddar pasta for the kids in case they didn’t like the shrimp (didn’t want to waste it if they didn’t like it – more for us!).

Elizabeth quickly cleaned her plate and held it up. “Can I have some more nudes please?”

I did a double take and spluttered a bit. “Some what dear?”

“Some nudes.”

So I had heard her right. I started laughing, the kind that starts as a little chuckle and builds and builds. “Honey do you know what nude means?”

“No.” She was beginning to look a bit bewildered at her insanely laughing mom and glanced toward Dad who was chuckling into his cup.

“It means naked,” I explained through my laughter.

“Oh.” She gave us a sheepish grin and began laughing. “Oops. I’d like some more noodles, please.”

“That we can do, but we don’t serve naked people here,” I happily commented, to which Dad almost lost his water all over the table and Liz and I cascaded into helpless laughter as the rest of the family looked on trying to figure out what was so very funny.

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More Jacobisms, one Dadism, and Jamesā€™ acrobatics

We were driving home from the Portland Children’s Museum on Saturday evening after attending the Andaluz Waterbirth Center potluck. I’m not quite sure how, but the topic of electricity came up. One of the kids asked if all the lights went out would our car lights go out too so we couldn’t see. We explained that they wouldn’t, but Jacob was worried now that the lights would all go out.

Finally Dad said, “Jacob, close your eyes.” He did and Dad exclaimed, “Power out!” Then he said, “Open you eyes.” Jacob once again obeyed. “Power on!” They did this a few more times – close eyes, power out, open eyes, power on.

Finally, after the third time or so, as he opened his eyes, Jacob exclaimes, “AWESOME!”

Our poor kids are going to be SO warped.

***

Jacob loves toast. He can put the bread in and push down the button and finds it absolutely facinating. The other day, while I was cleaning my office (a huge feat – it was more like excavating, really), the boys decided they needed toast. Did they ask me? Of course not! They just happily began to play with the toaster. Well, after a little while I realized I hadn’t seen the boys in about five minutes – bad news, especially where boys are concerned. I exited my office to investigate and smelled smoke. there was a haze hovering over the kitchen.

In I ran and discovered Jacob pushing the button down once again on an already thoroughly blackened piece of bread. I dived at the toaster with a resounding now! And popped it up again. Smoke roiled forth and as I pulled the hapless piece of toast from it’s death little waves of smoke wafted from is poor blackened being. Windows were thrown open and fans turned on, but I swear the house still smells smokey, and when I open certain cupboards they smell like they have a smoking habit.

I have to say, at least he didn’t set the toaster on fire like I did, once upon a time. (And I MUCH prefer smoke over mounds of brown sugar all over my living room – I had to shampoo the carpet a million times! Well, Paul did, I was too nautious after trying to vaccuum it all up with the shopvac.)

***
A couple weekends ago, Paul and I were ordering Chinese take out for our date since the kids were sick. He was reading over my shoulder and suddenly says. “Human beef?”

I blinked in astonishment. “What?”

“Oh, never mind, it says Hunan beef.”

I wonder if I should worry about him turning canibal on me… hee hee

***
James is our little gymnast. He has great capabilities. I first began to notice his major gymnast talents when we had the brown sugar issue in the living room and all the cushions were off of the couch. Since, without the cushions, it was lower to the ground he would balance on the edge and summersault off and onto the floor. Now he does it with the cushions on.

Then, the other day, Paul caught him balanced precariously between two bar stools. We have bar stools at our counter so the kids can sit while we cook and work and check out what we are doing. Anyway, he had lined up two bar stools and climbed up, balancing betwen them with one leg on the one, and the other leg on the other, doing the splits. He just sat there, hanging between the two bar stools in the splits until he decided he was done and couldn’t quite figure out how to get down.

Later that day we caught him balanced on the arm of the rocking chair. He was standing on the arm and holding onto the back with one hand – the other straight out in the air and rocking back and forth – acrobatic training anyone? We gave him the whole, that is not proper rocking chair behaviour lecture. I think it will have to be repeated in the future.

He climbs everything, but not only does he climb it, he jumps off of it. He prefers if you are there to catch him, but he’ll jump regardless. I’d consider putting him into gymnastics, but the consequences could be ghastly. lol! I can see him now, swinging from the lights and ceiling fans in an attempt to mimic the high bar or something.

I just love my boys. šŸ˜€

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