Monthly Archives: November 2009

There’s my house, Mr. Policeman

It’s hard to believe its November already, and that I have a brand new Jacob adventure!

I was rotating between cleaning, writing, and playing with the boys yesterday morning. It’s NaNoWriMo (national novel writing month) again and I am trying to get into full swing of getting my newest book written (nothing has happened yet with the queries and such of the others, but writing is fun – so who cares if I don’t ever get published, I’ll just have fun writing anyway 😉 ). I wasn’t expecting anyone so I hadn’t bothered to do my hair yet or put my bra on. I was in my comfy sweats just working, typing, and playing away.

About mid morning I flipped a show on for the boys, they seemed very interested, so I felt safe in disapearing into the bathroom for a few minutes in order to do a little cleaning. I never heard the door open, and the fact that it was unusually quiet meant the boys were ingrained in their show.

I finished what I was doing and went to play with the boys again, I had been in there maybe about 5 minutes or so. Partway down the hall I heard the front door open. “Whose at the door?” I asked myself out loud and sped up a little wondering if Jacob was playing with the door. A second later I collided with the little rapscallion.

“Police here!”

“What? The police?” I ask, very confused. Why would the police be here?

“Yeah! Police here!” He was very excited.

I went to the front door and sure enough there were two policemen waiting patiently one my front step. “Hello?” I asked rather tenatively.

“Hello mam, we recieved a call from a concerned neighbor who saw your son down at street x.”

I felt the color drop out of my face as I looked at my energetic four-year-old who was peering out the window in facination at the police car. “Street x?” I asked. My mind was racing. It wasn’t a very busy street, but busy enough and a good 2 blocks away.

“Yes mam. And when we arrived he was running back and forth across the road.”

“I had slipped into the bathroom for a few minutes to do a little cleaning, I never even heard the door open. We have a lock up high on it, he must have undone it.” I was panicked then, trying to figure out what is going to happen. I look down as James toddles into my legs. To my dismay he had stripped out of his pajamas and found a purple marker. He had beautiful streaks running all up and down his chest and tummy. I pick him up and realize, with much humiliation, that I am standing there conversing with police officers in ratty sweats, messy hair and no bra! Jacob is bouncing around me try to talk to “Mr. Policeman!” And I am feeling like a guilty criminal. We talked some more and they suggested childproof locks, and I explained, I’m sure in desperation, that our houdini boy could undo them all.

The other police officer pipes up and says. “You have four children don’t you?”

“Five actually.”

“That’s right, I was here last month for the 911 hang-up call.” *(More on that call after the post).

I think I would have fainted if it weren’t for his amused smile. “I have a son like yours. We put locks on the doors he figured them out. I put high locks on the doors, he started going out the windows.”

Ah empathy. Perhaps I wasn’t going to be hauled away as the bad mother of the year after all. They proceeded to assure me that all was well. They just had to report that a neighbor called in and the little boy had been returned. No DHS or anything would be notified. As they left, and Jacob was energetically waving the first police officer (not the father of the escaping boy) looks at me and says, “Try to have a good rest of the day, mam.”

I managed a week smile and thank you. Went inside, scolded my Jacob, burst into tears and began looking for chocolate. Sigh. It’s a wonder I’m not gray yet. And from now on, I will be sure my bra is firmly in place no matter how empty of a day I am planning to have and dress James in only clothes that button up from behind (maybe I’ll just put his pajamas on backwards).

I can see the humor in it now…. I think….

*So, Back when I wrote about the retreat I mentioned that there had been a 911 call in my absence. Our oldest was on babysitter duty and Paul had slipped out for a little while to help a friend move into their house. While he was gone Jacob dialed 911 and then hung up. The police, of course, came over to the house. Our oldest was super smart, asking who was there through the door and being very grown-up and all. Everything was fine and she handled it very well. She explained what had happened, gave their names and birthdays, and asked a few times if we were in trouble because Jacob had accidentally dialled 911. They assured her everything was fine and we never heard anything more.

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Filed under Children, Humor, Jacob, Parenting