Kid’s Proverbs

I was going through files tonight on my computer, deleting nonsense or unneeded files, organizing stray files into folders, etc, when I came across this gem & boy did it give me a great laugh!

Apparently, in January of 2009 I did an activity with my girls where I gave them the first half of a proverb and let them come up with the rest. The results were rather hilarious – especially six years later. At the time, Lizy would have been 9, Dot 8, & Em 6. The first line is the given line, the second is what my kids gave me 😀 Some are wise, some are endearing, a couple are right (or pretty close), and a bunch are just plain funny! I didn’t change anything – just copy and pasted (so comments in paranthesis are what I wrote 6 years ago)

1. Don’t change horses
Until they grow up (Emily)

2. Strike while the
Bees are gone from the hive (Dorothy)

3. It’s always darkest before
The light comes up (Elizabeth)

4. Never underestimate the power of
God (Emily)

5. You can lead a horse to water but
Not to a lake with sharks in it (Dorothy)

6. Don’t bite the hand that
Is alive (Elizabeth)

7. No news is
Until morning – we only get news when it’s morning (Emily)

8. A miss is as good as a
Hit (Dorothy)

9. You can’t teach an old dog new
Tricks (Elizabeth – she didn’t know that is really the answer)

10. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll
Get dirty (Emily)

11. Love all, trust
Heavenly Father (Dorothy)

12. The pen is mightier than the
Eraser or a pencil (Elziabeth)

13. An idle mind is
Blank (Emily)

14. Where there’s smoke there’s
A fire – not always though (Dorothy)

15. Happy the bride who
Marries the groom (Elizabeth)

16. A penny saved is
Saving money (Emily)

17. Two’s company, three’s
Trouble (Elizbeth)

18. Don’t put off till tomorrow what
Is rotten (Dorothy)

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
I’ll cry with you (Emily)

20. There are none so blind as
One who can’t see (Dorothy)

21. Children should be seen and not
Hid (Elizabeth)

22. If at first you don’t succeed
Try to do it again (Emily)

23. You get out of something only what you
Need (Dorothy)

24. When the blind lead the blind
You fall (Elizabeth)

25. A bird in the hand
can fly away (Emily)

26. Better late than
kicked out of school (Dorothy)

If You’re going to play family games, be prepared for the consequences…

I might blog every day this week – there have been so many great things this Christmas weekend.

Tonight, however, I shall share with you our funny faux-pas courtesy of

Apples

to

Apples

(for those of you who haven’t played the game the gist is the judge places a word on the table and everyone else choose a word from their hand that best fits – the judge decides which one wins)

Word:

Intelligent

card accidentally played by our daughter:

Divorce

(hopefully there was no secret meaning there)

Word:

Neglected

The card I couldn’t resist playing that none of the kids understood:

My Lovelife

(my hubby laughed insanely – trying to decide how I should take that one – ha ha)

Word:

Playful

it came down to two choices:

Barbed Wire

vs.

Mafia

Barbed Wire won

and finally, the icing on the cake, so to say…

the word was, well, I don’t even remember actually. The card that won was The Mississippi River and I guffawed and Paul was saying something about Nauvoo being along the Mississippi River to which Em says:

“What’s Nauvoo?”

Dot, full of big sisterly wisdom and love replies,

“That place in Star Wars, Du-uh!”

To which Dad and I reply,

“Uh, Honey, that was Naboo….”

12 Days of Christmas

Last year I acquired a new Christmas CD by Straight No Chaser a men’s accapella group.

My sole purpose  for buying the CD was to get a copy of their version of

It’s a kick in the pants.

Just like the rest of the songs on the CD.

The other day Jacob was playing with Dad in his office when their version of 12 Days of Christmas came on.

He gave Dad a funny look.

“Dad, that doesn’t make sense.”

“What, the song?”

“Yes. Where is the real one?”

So, in case you haven’t heard it – here is the song that doesn’t make sense:

Is the Golden Guy There?

As we drove into D.C. Thursday night the kids were anxiously looking for the temple. We drove around a bend in the freeway and it lit up the night sky.

Jacob got very excited.

“I see it, I see it! Is the golden guy up there?“

“You mean Angel Moroni? Yes.” I pointed out the window.

“Oh no! He should only be there in the morning!”

My curiosity was piqued. “Why?”

“Because if a bad guy in an airplane sees it he can fly over and take it!”

After a chuckle, and numerous reassurances that no one was going to steal

“the Golden Guy”

Jacob said, “We should sing I love to See the Temple.”

So we did.

EVERY time we saw the temple our entire trip (which was a lot) Jacob insisted we burst into song.

It was AWESOME!

And I do love to see the temple very much. And I’m SO glad my kids love to see it too!

Kiddy Quips

Jacob (my 6-year-old) after swimming a long time in the lake:

“My fingers are getting

         OLD!”

We were all sitting at the table and being very silly. Jacob started asking a whole bunch of times,

“Can I have a cookie? Can I have a cookie? Can I have a cookie?”

So, I said, in a mock stern voice (because he was only being silly, not annoying), “If I hear you ask for a cookie one more time…”

He stopped, looked at me, and said,

“Can I have 100 cookies?”

I pierced him with my mock stern mommy look (all while trying not to laugh) because  I knew exactly what was going through his brain:

I didn’t ask for A cookie, mom!

Jacob’s take on the Easter Bunny

The other day Jacob came home from school with a paper bag bunny basket he had made with candy in it. He was very excited as he showed it to me, explaining that they had decorated them the day before.

“So, the Easter bunny came to the school during the night and filled your basket?” I asked.

“No, silly, Mrs. — was the Easter Bunny.” He had his hands on his hips, looking rather indignant.

“Oh. Well, who’s the Easter bunny here then? Will she come fill all of our baskets?”

“Noooooo,” He drew out the word and raised his voice at the end. “The bunnies in the backyard, they come in and put candy in our baskets.”

“Oh. You mean the little brown ones you were watching the other day?”

“Yup! But they were black and white, Mom.”

Commical Quips (Last week ended up being rather humerous I guess)

Jacob went to his first football game with Dad and his sisters. After he got home he was so excited to tell me all about the game. In one breath the words game tumbling out in a hilarious jumble.

“The red team tries to knock the blue team down and the blue team tries to knock the red team down and the band goes doo doo doo* and the blue team knocks the red team down and that’s bad.”

*I have to note that on the “doo doo doo” it was sung and his hands came up in front of his mouth to imitate playing and instrument.

***

I was reading Paul a friend’s status on Facebook and the kids over heard. The conversation ended up flowing something like this. Now, I need to note that this friend (a piano student of mine in Oregon) has horses and had given the kids horse rides at one point and we had watched her, her brother, and mom ride in the parade (she’s in high school).

Mom reading student’s status to Dad: I hate deer! Stupid stupid stupid!

Dorothy: Why does she hate deer?

Dad looks at mom and they pass a knowing nod: Because she hit one.

Dorothy: On her horse?

A moment later Dorothy begins singing: *Jayden got ran over by a reindeer.

*The name has been changed to protect the innocent.

***

Bathtime on Saturday evening, after Mom had noted Emily’s very dirty face underneath her pirate hat, and commented that she looked the part very well.

Dad: Emily, go upstairs and take a shower in our bathroom.

Emily: No!

Dad: What did you say?

Emily: No.

Dad: Did you tell me no? Why?

Emily (after hemming and hawing and much shoulder shrugging): I’m uncomfortable doing things I don’t do very well and I don’t know how to use your shower very well.

Emily then grumpily exited the room to the family room where I was sitting with baby: Now I can’t be a real pirate because I’ll be clean!*

*I think we finally got to root of the problem there.

***

Mom, pointing to the horse pulling the wagon: Horse, James.

James: Yeehaw!

Mom: Horse.

James: Yeehaw!

Mom: Say H-o-r-se

James, bouncing up and down pretending to hold the reins: YEEEEEHAAAAW!*

*It should be noted that this has been an ongoing theme for quite some time – every time we point to a horse or a picture of a horse James says “Yeehaw!” rather than horse. 😀

***

Elizabeth was getting ready for school one night and gathering all of her things together. Paul and I sat in the family room chatting and watching her run upstairs and downstairs multiple times. Finally, she came walking through the kitchen (which we have an easy view of) towards the bathroom carrying her toothbrush.

Mom: Why are you brushing your teeth down here?

Lizard: I’m not, I’m getting everything ready for tomorrow and this way I don’t have to go upstairs after breakfast to brush my teeth.

Mom: But there’s already toothpaste on it!

Lizard: Yeah. That way its ready. (The grin on her face notes she thinks she is brilliant.)

Mom (and Dad): Ewwwww! It’ll get all dried out. And you’ll forget and end up with 5-day old toothpaste crusted on your brush that you’ll need pliers to get off. *

*She did forget about it and found her toothbrush three days later (of course after she convinced Dad that she had lost it for real and obtained a new one). She did however have the good enough sense to wash the toothpaste off after we had laughed and had our “ewww!” conversation.

***

I feel like I should have something here for Robert, since all the others are covered in this blog. But, I don’t. Well, maybe I do….

Robert is a gassy baby. Partly my fault – the reason why can by found in this post. The other day I was playing with him and doing what we call “Running Man” where we take their legs (while they are laying down) and pretend to make them run. After a couple laps around the invisible track he began farting every time I pushed his left leg toward his tummy. Which James thought was hysterical. We got quite the rhythm going and even I was chuckling after a while. 😀

Of Shoulders and Wheels

While we were watching General Conference on Saturday, Jacob found a car tire from one of his toy cars. He was running around playing with it until Dad noticed that it had the metal wire part attached and confiscated it so he wouldn’t poke someone’s eye out.

Jacob occupied himself with other things and quite forgot about the toy tire, until that is it was announced that the choir and congregation were going to sing. “Put your shoulder to the wheel.” I watched as Jacob suddenly became alert with the dawning of understanding. He looked at Dad who was concentrating on watching conference. Jacob poked his elbow out and started wiggling his shoulder all while looking at Dad, who coincidentally had picked up the tire some few minutes ago sitting beside him and was spinning it in his fingers.

Immediately I put the two together and started laughing. Dad looked at me, a little confused. “What?”

I nodded my head at Jacob’s wiggling shoulder. “You have the wheel.”

Dad started laughing and held it out as Jacob broke into a grin and bumped his shoulder against it. “Put shoulder to the wheel!” He announced triumphantly. The rest of the song was lost on us as we laughed and Jacob joyously bounced his shoulder on the wheel in time to the music.

A Couple Jacobisms

So, the other day I was heading to the music store to get Elizabeth and Dorothy’s music books for band. There had been a lot of talk of instruments lately as we had managed to track down the flute for Liz and the trumpet for Dot, and Emily had asked once or twice about a violin – though we explained she wouldn’t be starting for a little while yet. So it was only mildly surprising when Jacob, hearing that I was heading to the music store, came tearing into my room. “Mom, are you getting my drum?”

I think there is a budding percussionist in the family. After all, he was the one that before he could even walk would arrange all our rhythm instruments and toy drums in a semi circle around him and play away.

***

We let our cat, Spitfire, roam around outside frequently, though we always bring her in at night. Because of Murdoch and her not getting along too well yet – she’s a conniving little thing and constantly baits him – she spends the night in the basement. Well, the other day she had gotten in a cat fight and had a bloody lip when we brought her in from outside. The next morning Jacob, after seeing the cat for the first time, came running to our room.

“Mom, Dad, there’s a monster in our basement, cause it tried to eat spitfire, and Spitfire still has blood on her lip, and the monster is in the basement, and you need to come and get the monster.”

After trying not to guffaw with laughter we explained that she was not attacked by a monster in the basement and the basement is perfectly safe. I love imagination!

Little Pigs say…

“James, what does a cow say?”

“Mooo,” says James.

“What does a sheep say?”

“Baaaa.” Of course his baa is accompanied with a head shake.

“And, what do pigs say?”

“La,la la!”

At which Paul and I dissolve into laughter. We’ve read him Sandra Boynton’s book, “Moo, Baa, La La La“, one two many times (we have two copies – one older from when Liz was born and one newer from James – since they look different, James insists we read both) and no matter how we try to convince him that pigs really do say oink, and we even accompany the oinking with exuberant snorting, he is certain that pigs say “la la la!” in a cute head bobbing sing-song. Oh, Sandra, what have you done to my child? 😀

Not to worry, I am sure that Robert will follow in his big brother’s footsteps, since that is a family favorite book and we’re okay with singing pigs.