Category Archives: Things Kids Say

Kid’s Proverbs

I was going through files tonight on my computer, deleting nonsense or unneeded files, organizing stray files into folders, etc, when I came across this gem & boy did it give me a great laugh!

Apparently, in January of 2009 I did an activity with my girls where I gave them the first half of a proverb and let them come up with the rest. The results were rather hilarious – especially six years later. At the time, Lizy would have been 9, Dot 8, & Em 6. The first line is the given line, the second is what my kids gave me 😀 Some are wise, some are endearing, a couple are right (or pretty close), and a bunch are just plain funny! I didn’t change anything – just copy and pasted (so comments in paranthesis are what I wrote 6 years ago)

1. Don’t change horses
Until they grow up (Emily)

2. Strike while the
Bees are gone from the hive (Dorothy)

3. It’s always darkest before
The light comes up (Elizabeth)

4. Never underestimate the power of
God (Emily)

5. You can lead a horse to water but
Not to a lake with sharks in it (Dorothy)

6. Don’t bite the hand that
Is alive (Elizabeth)

7. No news is
Until morning – we only get news when it’s morning (Emily)

8. A miss is as good as a
Hit (Dorothy)

9. You can’t teach an old dog new
Tricks (Elizabeth – she didn’t know that is really the answer)

10. If you lie down with dogs, you’ll
Get dirty (Emily)

11. Love all, trust
Heavenly Father (Dorothy)

12. The pen is mightier than the
Eraser or a pencil (Elziabeth)

13. An idle mind is
Blank (Emily)

14. Where there’s smoke there’s
A fire – not always though (Dorothy)

15. Happy the bride who
Marries the groom (Elizabeth)

16. A penny saved is
Saving money (Emily)

17. Two’s company, three’s
Trouble (Elizbeth)

18. Don’t put off till tomorrow what
Is rotten (Dorothy)

19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
I’ll cry with you (Emily)

20. There are none so blind as
One who can’t see (Dorothy)

21. Children should be seen and not
Hid (Elizabeth)

22. If at first you don’t succeed
Try to do it again (Emily)

23. You get out of something only what you
Need (Dorothy)

24. When the blind lead the blind
You fall (Elizabeth)

25. A bird in the hand
can fly away (Emily)

26. Better late than
kicked out of school (Dorothy)

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Filed under Children, Dot, Em, Humor, Lizy, Things Kids Say

If You’re going to play family games, be prepared for the consequences…

I might blog every day this week – there have been so many great things this Christmas weekend.

Tonight, however, I shall share with you our funny faux-pas courtesy of

Apples

to

Apples

(for those of you who haven’t played the game the gist is the judge places a word on the table and everyone else choose a word from their hand that best fits – the judge decides which one wins)

Word:

Intelligent

card accidentally played by our daughter:

Divorce

(hopefully there was no secret meaning there)

Word:

Neglected

The card I couldn’t resist playing that none of the kids understood:

My Lovelife

(my hubby laughed insanely – trying to decide how I should take that one – ha ha)

Word:

Playful

it came down to two choices:

Barbed Wire

vs.

Mafia

Barbed Wire won

and finally, the icing on the cake, so to say…

the word was, well, I don’t even remember actually. The card that won was The Mississippi River and I guffawed and Paul was saying something about Nauvoo being along the Mississippi River to which Em says:

“What’s Nauvoo?”

Dot, full of big sisterly wisdom and love replies,

“That place in Star Wars, Du-uh!”

To which Dad and I reply,

“Uh, Honey, that was Naboo….”

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Filed under Children, Dot, Em, Humor, Things Kids Say

12 Days of Christmas

Last year I acquired a new Christmas CD by Straight No Chaser a men’s accapella group.

My sole purpose  for buying the CD was to get a copy of their version of

12 Days of Christmas.

It’s a kick in the pants.

Just like the rest of the songs on the CD.

The other day Jacob was playing with Dad in his office when their version of 12 Days of Christmas came on.

He gave Dad a funny look.

“Dad, that doesn’t make sense.”

“What, the song?”

“Yes. Where is the real one?”

So, in case you haven’t heard it – here is the song that doesn’t make sense:

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Filed under Children, Humor, Jacob, Things Kids Say

Is the Golden Guy There?

As we drove into D.C. Thursday night the kids were anxiously looking for the temple. We drove around a bend in the freeway and it lit up the night sky.

Jacob got very excited.

I see it, I see it! Is the golden guy up there?

“You mean Angel Moroni? Yes.” I pointed out the window.

Oh no! He should only be there in the morning!”

My curiosity was piqued. “Why?”

“Because if a bad guy in an airplane sees it he can fly over and take it!”

After a chuckle, and numerous reassurances that no one was going to steal

“the Golden Guy”

Jacob said, “We should sing I love to See the Temple.”

So we did.

EVERY time we saw the temple our entire trip (which was a lot) Jacob insisted we burst into song.

It was AWESOME!

And I do love to see the temple very much. And I’m SO glad my kids love to see it too!

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Filed under Children, Humor, Jacob, Religion, Things Kids Say

Kiddy Quips

Jacob (my 6-year-old) after swimming a long time in the lake:

“My fingers are getting

         OLD!”

We were all sitting at the table and being very silly. Jacob started asking a whole bunch of times,

“Can I have a cookie? Can I have a cookie? Can I have a cookie?”

So, I said, in a mock stern voice (because he was only being silly, not annoying), “If I hear you ask for a cookie one more time…”

He stopped, looked at me, and said,

“Can I have 100 cookies?”

I pierced him with my mock stern mommy look (all while trying not to laugh) because  I knew exactly what was going through his brain:

I didn’t ask for A cookie, mom!

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Filed under Children, Humor, Jacob, Parenting, Things Kids Say

Jacob’s take on the Easter Bunny

The other day Jacob came home from school with a paper bag bunny basket he had made with candy in it. He was very excited as he showed it to me, explaining that they had decorated them the day before.

“So, the Easter bunny came to the school during the night and filled your basket?” I asked.

“No, silly, Mrs. — was the Easter Bunny.” He had his hands on his hips, looking rather indignant.

“Oh. Well, who’s the Easter bunny here then? Will she come fill all of our baskets?”

“Noooooo,” He drew out the word and raised his voice at the end. “The bunnies in the backyard, they come in and put candy in our baskets.”

“Oh. You mean the little brown ones you were watching the other day?”

“Yup! But they were black and white, Mom.”

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Filed under Children, Humor, Jacob, Things Kids Say

Commical Quips (Last week ended up being rather humerous I guess)

Jacob went to his first football game with Dad and his sisters. After he got home he was so excited to tell me all about the game. In one breath the words game tumbling out in a hilarious jumble.

“The red team tries to knock the blue team down and the blue team tries to knock the red team down and the band goes doo doo doo* and the blue team knocks the red team down and that’s bad.”

*I have to note that on the “doo doo doo” it was sung and his hands came up in front of his mouth to imitate playing and instrument.

***

I was reading Paul a friend’s status on Facebook and the kids over heard. The conversation ended up flowing something like this. Now, I need to note that this friend (a piano student of mine in Oregon) has horses and had given the kids horse rides at one point and we had watched her, her brother, and mom ride in the parade (she’s in high school).

Mom reading student’s status to Dad: I hate deer! Stupid stupid stupid!

Dorothy: Why does she hate deer?

Dad looks at mom and they pass a knowing nod: Because she hit one.

Dorothy: On her horse?

A moment later Dorothy begins singing: *Jayden got ran over by a reindeer.

*The name has been changed to protect the innocent.

***

Bathtime on Saturday evening, after Mom had noted Emily’s very dirty face underneath her pirate hat, and commented that she looked the part very well.

Dad: Emily, go upstairs and take a shower in our bathroom.

Emily: No!

Dad: What did you say?

Emily: No.

Dad: Did you tell me no? Why?

Emily (after hemming and hawing and much shoulder shrugging): I’m uncomfortable doing things I don’t do very well and I don’t know how to use your shower very well.

Emily then grumpily exited the room to the family room where I was sitting with baby: Now I can’t be a real pirate because I’ll be clean!*

*I think we finally got to root of the problem there.

***

Mom, pointing to the horse pulling the wagon: Horse, James.

James: Yeehaw!

Mom: Horse.

James: Yeehaw!

Mom: Say H-o-r-se

James, bouncing up and down pretending to hold the reins: YEEEEEHAAAAW!*

*It should be noted that this has been an ongoing theme for quite some time – every time we point to a horse or a picture of a horse James says “Yeehaw!” rather than horse. 😀

***

Elizabeth was getting ready for school one night and gathering all of her things together. Paul and I sat in the family room chatting and watching her run upstairs and downstairs multiple times. Finally, she came walking through the kitchen (which we have an easy view of) towards the bathroom carrying her toothbrush.

Mom: Why are you brushing your teeth down here?

Lizard: I’m not, I’m getting everything ready for tomorrow and this way I don’t have to go upstairs after breakfast to brush my teeth.

Mom: But there’s already toothpaste on it!

Lizard: Yeah. That way its ready. (The grin on her face notes she thinks she is brilliant.)

Mom (and Dad): Ewwwww! It’ll get all dried out. And you’ll forget and end up with 5-day old toothpaste crusted on your brush that you’ll need pliers to get off. *

*She did forget about it and found her toothbrush three days later (of course after she convinced Dad that she had lost it for real and obtained a new one). She did however have the good enough sense to wash the toothpaste off after we had laughed and had our “ewww!” conversation.

***

I feel like I should have something here for Robert, since all the others are covered in this blog. But, I don’t. Well, maybe I do….

Robert is a gassy baby. Partly my fault – the reason why can by found in this post. The other day I was playing with him and doing what we call “Running Man” where we take their legs (while they are laying down) and pretend to make them run. After a couple laps around the invisible track he began farting every time I pushed his left leg toward his tummy. Which James thought was hysterical. We got quite the rhythm going and even I was chuckling after a while. 😀

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Filed under Bobert, Children, Dot, Em, Humor, Jacob, James, Lizy, Things Kids Say